Mum always knows best

I have been struggling with what to blog about the past couple of weeks. Prior to falling pregnant and becoming a parent I would rather have stuck pins in my eyes than read a parenting/mummy blog. So in order not to bore my legions of fans (LOL all three of you) I have decided to only post when I can think of something worth blogging about rather than just blog for the sake of it.

Now if you are still awake and reading after that yawnworthy first paragraph lets cut to the chase.

The Baby will be two months old in seven days – my oh my how time flies when you are having fun. We have had our ups and we have had our downs and every day brings with it new milestones and learning curves.

And boy have I learned a lot. Let me break it down into 10 key points – soon-to-be first mums take note!

10: Time – Gone are the days where I could do what I want whenever I wanted. Nowadays everything takes so much longer and has to be fitted around The Baby’s feed and sleep schedule. Just when you think you have time to shove some lunch in your mouth or mop the floor – waaaaaaaaaah. Lucky he is so damn cute.

9: Guilt – I have never felt so much guilt in all of my life. Go to the gym for an hour, feel guilty. Feed him a bottle so I can have my first glass of wine in 12 months, feel guilty. Leave him with The Boy for an hour to get a manicure, feel guilty. Quickly guzzle down a coffee while he’s grizzling, feel guilty.

8: Patience – I am generally an impatient person and I hate waiting for anything however since The Baby has been born I have found I have become more patient. If the little monkey is feeling a bit clingy I don’t mind cuddling him for hours on end, if he decides he doesn’t want to sleep when he should I wait it out.

7: Instinct – Everyone is a Goddamn expert when it comes to babies and finally I have come to realise that I know best. “Don’t rock your baby to sleep!” “Establish a routine!” “Just let him cry!” “He must be hungry!” Ermagherd just shut the hell up. A couple of weeks ago I had a meltdown because I was taking in far too much information from far too many people/sources when I should have just been following my instincts. So now I just do what I know works best for us and all is well. Hey guess what ‘parenting expert’ The Baby is sleeping on a pillow on my lap as I type this! Hopefully he won’t have a lower IQ/turn into a serial killer/develop ADHD because he’s not in his bassinet.

6: Meltdowns – I have had a few of these which can be attributed to points 9 and 7, hormones and sleep deprivation. The best thing I have found for me to do is to get it all out, talk to The Boy/mum/sisters/BFF and get over it. Crying in the shower also helps. So does a glass of wine the size of my head.

5: Lies – Fact, other mums lie. A couple of weeks ago I came across a woman who claimed her ray of sunshine had been rolling over since he was one-week old and had penned his own memoirs by week five. Well that last bit is a lie but so is the first! Other mums will brag about their baby’s sleeping patterns and various milestones. It used to get me down as I’d mentally start comparing but now I have realised half the time it’s bullshit and also it does not matter what so and so’s baby is doing as long as mine is healthy and happy.

4: Me time – While this inevitably leads to point 9, having time for myself each day is essential. Thankfully The Boy is very ‘hands-on’ (I hate that term because all dads should be) so when he gets home from work it’s off to the gym I go or if I am exhausted I have relaxing bath and read or lay down while he takes over parenting duties. I also get a manicure once a fortnight and am planning a girls night out soon – woo hoo Vodka and a spin on the dance floor! I love spending time with my son but it doesn’t mean I can’t still be a little selfish when I want to be.

3: Relationship – I did not think having a baby would have such an impact on The Boy and I’s relationship. It is tough. I don’t think dads understand just how demanding a newborn can be while us mums need to not bust their partner’s balls so much when they’re trying their hardest to help out. I know I am extra sensitive at the moment and I am sure The Boy knows he sometimes really needs to think before he speaks. We are having a date night tonight – boom chika wah wah. When baby is number one it is easy to forget about the other special person in your life and I think it’s important to take some time out and just enjoy each others company.

2: Priorities – Obviously my priorities have changed and it’s not all about me anymore it’s about our mini-human. In the first few weeks I’d stress because the housework wasn’t getting done and I didn’t have time to whip up five-course meals like I’d imagine. I really wanted to be housewife/mother of the year and would feel guilty – there’s that word again – if I wasn’t living up to the high expectations I’d put on myself. Now I just take it as it comes and would much rather take The Baby out for a walk in the sunshine than put him down and hang out the washing. Ugh and housework is so boring just talking/typing about it is enough to make want to nod off.

1: Love – It’s true what they say you will never love anyone as much as your mini-human. Sometimes it feels like my heart may burst. Every time he smiles I feel delirious from happiness. It also warms my heart to see how much love he generates from others. Seeing my parents and sisters with him is such a joy. My dad and him already have their own special bond, it’s amazing to watch. Even strangers come up to us and fall in love with him. I always tell him he is the most loved baby on the planet. It’s also pretty great knowing someone loves you unconditionally too.

Enough gushing it’s a glorious winter’s day so I am going to leave the bed unmade for now and take my boy out for a walk.

Happy Friday!

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About babies … and other stuff

Baby Predator's latest wardrobe addition.

It’s been a tough week.

Therefore I’m not really feeling inspired to post. But alas I can’t leave my legions of readers (all five of you) hanging can I?!

My friend The Wry Bride suggested I blog about babies. At first I scoffed ‘thanks Captain Obvious’ but then I thought hmm maybe she’s on to something. So this week’s post is about babies.

Admittedly I don’t know much about them. I know they are cute, squishy, warm, they cry, poop, eat, make gurgling noises, sleep lots, have the best giggle on the planet and are fun to dress up. Other than that I’m pretty much going to have to play it by ear once he/she makes its long-awaited arrival (19 weeks eek!)

Speaking of dressing up, this little baby already has a wardrobe to rival that of my own – Missoni anyone. Yes, today I bought baby Predator an all-in-one romper designed by the famed Italian fashion house. It’s to fit a one-month old. I’m predicting it will fit my bundle of joy for probably two weeks. In that two weeks I will be aiming to get as much wear out of it as I can. Even if I’m looking like hell, sleep-deprived with milk spit on my own clothes – this baby is going to be rocking designer duds, well for at least two weeks he/she will be.

I’ve been  noticing some strange things since becoming pregnant – for one I am turning into a sensitive old soul and I think I may be starting to develop what has always seemed so very foreign to me – a maternal instinct. *shock, horror*

Earlier this week I ran into an old school friend who just had a baby and I found myself staring right at it like a woman possessed. I also had this sudden urge to pick it up, rock it in my arms and cover it in kisses. This is not the first time this has happened. When I see babies these days I get this ridiculous wistful look on my face and think to myself ‘oh how precious’. Even those television advertisements for nappies and the such turn me to mush. What dear readers is happening to me?

I’ve always found babies cute but to be honest when a new mum would hand their newborn over for a cuddle – instant anxiety. What if I drop it? How do I hold it? What if it cries? Ugh can you have it back now?

I really hope this maternal instinct which everyone talks about does exist because it’s going to be pretty awkward otherwise. ‘Oh umm sorry nurse can you wait until I’m seated up right with at least 10 cushions surrounding me before you hand me my baby for the first time?’

Thankfully my fabulous partner who will only be known as The Boy has had a lot of practise with mini humans. He has three younger brothers and is very good with children. I am very blessed and also it seems suffering from the fabled ‘baby brain’ as this blog has gone off on all kinds of tangents. Alas it’s seems like an appropriate time to sign off.

Maternally yours, I-Promise-My-Next-Post-Will-Be-Better