Boobs – what is the big deal?

People who are offended by mothers feeding their babies in public make me face palm so hard. In fact – excuse my language mum – they give me the fucking shits.

They’re boobs and their function is to produce milk and nourish babies. That is their sole purpose. The end.

I just don’t understand how anyone could find this offensive. In fact I am disturbed that anyone would find this offensive.

If you have a problem – look away, don’t make us mums more uncomfortable by asking us to “cover up” or “go somewhere else”. How about you go somewhere else.

Breastfeeding is a wonderful experience, a wonderful NATURAL experience. There is nothing sexual about it. If you think a mother taking her breast out to feed her baby is sexual then you seriously have issues and I urge you go see a psychiatrist.

“Be more discreet” says Kochie. I have yet to see or meet a mother who just willy-nilly flops her boob out in full view of the public before breastfeeding. Could someone explain what the big deal would be anyway? Would the world implode? How is it offensive? I find high-waisted micro-short denim shorts offensive – it doesn’t mean it gives me the right to tell every teenaged girl to “cover up” or “go somewhere else”.

Believe it or not a lot of us feel very uncomfortable about breastfeeding in public – I am one of them. Why? Because of moronic attitudes like Kochie’s and all the idiots who agree with him.

Should I just stay at home or switch to bottle feeding as to not offend anyone when I am out and about? Would the masses prefer me to go sit in a filthy public toilet to feed my son? Would you eat your lunch in a public toilet? I didn’t think so.

Just yesterday I was down south with my mum, sister and The Baby. He was due for a feed and after searching high and low for some sort of parenting room I was forced to hastily and uncomfortably feed him in the stinking, hot front seat of my car in the beach carpark – IN PUBLIC with PEOPLE walking past. We all survived the ordeal and so did everyone who happened to walk by. To those who oppose breastfeeding in public – should I have made my son wait 45 minutes until we arrived home before feeding him? Should I have starved him instead of getting my naughty booby out?

Apparently some Class A dickhead compared breastfeeding in public to pissing in public on talkback radio this morning. I can’t even respond to this hideously ignorant comment. I wonder if he was breastfed as a baby.

I also came across a few comments on Facebook yesterday calling mothers who breastfeed in public “feminists”. Ooh not the f word! I am a feminist and I am proud of it. I am also a mother who wants to give my son the best start to life. I will make no apologies if a member of the public gets a glimpse of nipple when I am trying to feed him.

The public should be supporting and encouraging mothers to breastfeed – not making them feel like deviants who should be hidden away.

So to all the breastfeeding mummies out there who are feeling down about thier God-given right to feed their baby wherever the hell they like I say – GET YA TITS OUT!

Separation anxiety and doing it my way

Woah it has been way too long since I lasted posted – The Baby is four and a half months old and it is exactly two months until Christmas. Time flies when you’re having fun!

I finally feel like I am getting the hang of this parenting gig but every now and then a curve-ball is thrown my way but I feel I am far better equipped at handling things now. These mini-humans sure are fickle little creatures.

The Baby is sleeping quite well at night – only waking once or twice – and he is generally a happy, little boy except for the times where I swear he is the spawn of satan. Luckily these moments are very few and far between.

He is a social little thing, loves going out and is happiest when he is the centre of attention. God only knows who he inherited these attributes from considering The Boy and I are such introverts … 😉

Unfortunately the poor monkey has eczema and very sensitive skin so we are trying to get on top of that at the moment. My heart breaks every time he scratches himself and it’s hard to know if it bothers him or not. If only they could talk!

My biggest concern at the moment is leaving him overnight in two weeks time for two weddings, two weekends in a row, two hours away from home. Hmm there are lots of twos in that sentence.

First of all there is the anxiety about leaving him for such a long period of time for the first time. We have left him for a few hours on a number of occasions but never overnight. The stress of it all has been keeping me awake at night *sigh*. Yep my old mate insomnia has returned.

I know he will be in good hands – one weekend it will be The Boy’s parents looking after him and the following it will be mine – but I worry they won’t do things our way and he will end up stressed and not sleep or feed well. Grandparents are fabulous but they naturally think they know best/better because they have children of their own even if they haven’t cared for a baby in more than 20 years.

My dad loves to say “you girls turned out okay” when I begin to explain how I like things to be done. On two occasions both my mum and The Boy’s mum have gone against what I have instructed. I just wish they would understand I am doing it to make it easier for them also.

I have these visions of him left screaming while being placed on his stomach unwrapped at the other end of the house to go to sleep. Grandparents love to tell you how “back when you were a  baby” it was perfectly acceptable to sleep on your tummy. I cringe every time I hear it and say “well it’s all changed now” in the calmest tone I can muster.

I also worry they will feed him every time he cries. What is with that anyway – every single time The Baby makes a whingeing noise or starts to cry everyone’s first reaction is “oh he must be hungry” – so annoying.

Anyway I know I am being totally irrational but I will still be leaving both sets of grandparents with a list of what to do and hopefully they will adhere to it and respect that The Boy and I are parents now and we know what is best for The Baby.

I truly am grateful to have both sets of parents to help us out as I know there are some new mummies and daddies out there who don’t have this luxury and that would be very tough.

Another thing playing on my mind is what if something happens – we will be two hours away and more than likely inebriated and unable to drive. Don’t drink then I hear you say, well that is an option but we are so looking forward to having a night or two off and I will need a drink to calm my nerves. Chances are nothing will happen but ugh my mind it does ponder over every possibility.

Then there is the boobs issue. The Baby is still being breastfed so my mammaries are going to be massive by the evening. MASSIVE and uncomfortable. Somehow I don’t think the breast pump will fit into my clutch nor do I think it will be appropriate to whip out a tit during the speeches to express for some much-needed relief. Such a conundrum.

The Boy is not phased by any of this of course. He just doesn’t understand how hard it is to leave The Baby behind when I am with him all day every day. I just know I am going to be waking up at 4am to drive home and pick him up as early as possible.

If anyone has any advice please leave me a comment. It truly is keeping me up at night.

Maternally yours, Worried

Attachment parenting – yawn let’s move on

It appears the topic du jour on the majority of parenting blogs this week is attachment parenting. Ah yes that old chestnut. Well here is my two cents on the issue – *yawn*

For those who have been living under a rock or who have more important things to concern themselves with, this somewhat controversial method of parenting can be described as the following –

Attachment parenting is based on the principle of understanding a child’s emotional and physical needs and responding sensitively to these needs. The focus of attachment parenting is on building a strong relationship between parents and child.

A strong and trusting relationship with your child can be developed by following your intuition; responding to your baby’s cries; “demand” breastfeeding for an extended period; carrying or “wearing” your baby; using gentle ways to help your baby sleep; co-sleeping with your baby and minimising separation from your baby during the first few years.

Source http://www.attachmentparentingaustralia.com/#What_are_some_aspects_of_attachment_parenting_that_help_parents_connect_to_their_children_after_the_early_infant_period_

Apparently on Sunday night current affairs program 60 Minutes featured a segment on attachment parenting hence why the topic is making headlines again. I didn’t watch it but I have read several blogs and news articles regarding it and once again mothers are being pitted against one another in the battle of whose method is best. Ugh give me a break. Whatever works for you is best – there is no one-size-fits-all method to parenting.

I posted briefly about this topic a few months ago here when Time magazine published what was likely its most talked about cover ever. You know the one – where the mother, an advocate for attachment parenting, is photographed breastfeeding her three-year-old son.

Like then I could not give two hoots whether a mother chooses to adhere to this method and neither should you. In fact let’s all move on because quite frankly I am sick to death of the topic.

If you know a mother who favours attachment parenting tell her she’s doing a great job. If you know a mother who is not a fan of the method tell her she is also doing a great job. Because at the end of the day we are all trying our best and it’s not an easy job whichever route you take.

Maternally yours, Moved On.

Breast is not always best

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There are two very temperamental items in our home at the moment – our internet connection (posting from my phone again!) and The Baby.

The internet connection is actually harder for me to deal with. My laptop won’t give me cuddles or stare at me with wide eyes when I’ve reached the end of my rope. Whereas all The Baby has to do is gaze up at me and all is right in the world.

Also the internet tells big fat lies when it comes to babies. Especially regarding breastfeeding and establishing a routine. Establishing a routine oh LOL internet have you even had a baby before?!

Breastfeeding is without a doubt the most physically and mentally challenging task I have ever tackled. Yeah breast is best but sometimes a bottle is just as good.

The Baby was feeding like a little champ in hospital and when we arrived home until 3.30am Wednesday two weeks ago. He suddenly developed amnesia and forgot how to feed. Cue tears and tantrums from both of us.

Waaah I am the worst mother on earth, my son is going to starve, why can’t I do this, noooo I can’t give him a bottle or I’ll be cast to the fiery pits of hell waaah!

So after an entire day of dramatics I finally conceded that yes The Baby may have to become The Bottle-fed Baby and it did not mean I was the worst mother on earth in fact it made me a pretty good mother for putting his needs first. That need being he had to be fed.

Once I made that decision everyone was happy once again … until a few days later. I had continued to attempt breastfeeding while giving him a bottle but he showed zero interest. So for about a day and a half I gave up trying. Then last Tuesday while he was screaming down the house and I couldn’t figure out why I gave it another go and BAM amnesia gone and he was back on the boob.

Seriously WTF make up your mind monkey man! So now we are ‘mix feeding’ a bit of boob and a bit of bottle.

The hardest part of all of this was making the decision to give him a bottle. There were all these voices in my head telling me how terrible a mother I’d be if I made the switch.

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH PRESSURE TO BREASTFEED? Seriously it needs to stop. Not everyone can do it and mums shouldn’t be made to feel like shit about it.

I know at least two other new mums who have had trouble breastfeeding and they also voiced how awful they felt about having to bottle-feed. Why? These mums should be applauded for making that tough decision and doing what is best for them and their babies.

I have read countless stories about women saying how amazing breastfeeding is – oh hi there Miranda (super-f*cking-mum) Kerr – yet struggle to find anything in the mainstream media about the struggles of breastfeeding.

Well I am not ashamed to admit that it’s hard, bloody hard. It hurts, your boobs leak and seriously who wants to get their tits out at 2am in the middle of winter!

Like I said before breast may be best but a bottle can be just as good. As long as baby is getting fed and both mum and baby are happy that’s all that matters.

Maternally yours, Mix-feeding Mum

It’s a boy!

Quite a bit has happened since my last post – I got a hair cut, used my juicer for the first time, survived Stormageddon oh and I had a baby!

Baby Predator arrived very early Sunday morning weighing six and a half pounds to a delighted mummy and daddy.

I am not going to go into detail about how he came into the world but I will say I managed to remain drug-free (aside from some gas) as hoped and everything went well. Also ouch, ouch, ouch – childbirth sure is painful but as all mums say so worth it.

He is super cute and perfect in every way. The Boy and I are thrilled to be parents and can’t stop staring at our little man.

Despite the fact I have not had an entire night’s sleep since last Tuesday all is going splendidly. We are still in hospital but plan to be home by the weekend where the real adventure begins!

Maternally yours, A-loved-up-mummy