Separation anxiety and doing it my way

Woah it has been way too long since I lasted posted – The Baby is four and a half months old and it is exactly two months until Christmas. Time flies when you’re having fun!

I finally feel like I am getting the hang of this parenting gig but every now and then a curve-ball is thrown my way but I feel I am far better equipped at handling things now. These mini-humans sure are fickle little creatures.

The Baby is sleeping quite well at night – only waking once or twice – and he is generally a happy, little boy except for the times where I swear he is the spawn of satan. Luckily these moments are very few and far between.

He is a social little thing, loves going out and is happiest when he is the centre of attention. God only knows who he inherited these attributes from considering The Boy and I are such introverts … 😉

Unfortunately the poor monkey has eczema and very sensitive skin so we are trying to get on top of that at the moment. My heart breaks every time he scratches himself and it’s hard to know if it bothers him or not. If only they could talk!

My biggest concern at the moment is leaving him overnight in two weeks time for two weddings, two weekends in a row, two hours away from home. Hmm there are lots of twos in that sentence.

First of all there is the anxiety about leaving him for such a long period of time for the first time. We have left him for a few hours on a number of occasions but never overnight. The stress of it all has been keeping me awake at night *sigh*. Yep my old mate insomnia has returned.

I know he will be in good hands – one weekend it will be The Boy’s parents looking after him and the following it will be mine – but I worry they won’t do things our way and he will end up stressed and not sleep or feed well. Grandparents are fabulous but they naturally think they know best/better because they have children of their own even if they haven’t cared for a baby in more than 20 years.

My dad loves to say “you girls turned out okay” when I begin to explain how I like things to be done. On two occasions both my mum and The Boy’s mum have gone against what I have instructed. I just wish they would understand I am doing it to make it easier for them also.

I have these visions of him left screaming while being placed on his stomach unwrapped at the other end of the house to go to sleep. Grandparents love to tell you how “back when you were a  baby” it was perfectly acceptable to sleep on your tummy. I cringe every time I hear it and say “well it’s all changed now” in the calmest tone I can muster.

I also worry they will feed him every time he cries. What is with that anyway – every single time The Baby makes a whingeing noise or starts to cry everyone’s first reaction is “oh he must be hungry” – so annoying.

Anyway I know I am being totally irrational but I will still be leaving both sets of grandparents with a list of what to do and hopefully they will adhere to it and respect that The Boy and I are parents now and we know what is best for The Baby.

I truly am grateful to have both sets of parents to help us out as I know there are some new mummies and daddies out there who don’t have this luxury and that would be very tough.

Another thing playing on my mind is what if something happens – we will be two hours away and more than likely inebriated and unable to drive. Don’t drink then I hear you say, well that is an option but we are so looking forward to having a night or two off and I will need a drink to calm my nerves. Chances are nothing will happen but ugh my mind it does ponder over every possibility.

Then there is the boobs issue. The Baby is still being breastfed so my mammaries are going to be massive by the evening. MASSIVE and uncomfortable. Somehow I don’t think the breast pump will fit into my clutch nor do I think it will be appropriate to whip out a tit during the speeches to express for some much-needed relief. Such a conundrum.

The Boy is not phased by any of this of course. He just doesn’t understand how hard it is to leave The Baby behind when I am with him all day every day. I just know I am going to be waking up at 4am to drive home and pick him up as early as possible.

If anyone has any advice please leave me a comment. It truly is keeping me up at night.

Maternally yours, Worried


3 responses

  1. Ahh Lee we are going away for a couple of days after our wedding and I have been loosing sleep over it for months already. Jamison won’t even take a bottle, everyone tells me that when he’s hungry enough he will but I don’t want him starving for hours before he gives in and takes it! That is just one of the items on the list of my anxiety about leaving him…. If you find a cure please let me know!!!!

  2. You beautifully articulated what I went through too. The guilt, the anxiety… but in all that haze, dont forget to get excited about having ‘you’ time, ‘couple’ time, have fun, and PACK A BREAST PUMP!

    When I read your post it reminded me of this article: What NOT to do when breastfeeding – good tips, but also a giggle, and know you’re not alone xxx A

    • Thanks Andrea 🙂 had a good little giggle at the article and have my breast pump ready to go – I just need to find a bag to carry it in now!

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